Mai's Theory
by HawaiianCaffeine
Summary: Mai is ultra suspicious. She has thought this through and come to a decent sounding conclusion that no one can deny. Naru is a vampire... now... she just has to prove it. MaiXNaru. Humor. Just pure humor. R&R pls. Hope you like!


**Mai's Theory**

Mai peaked ever so slightly around the wall just to narrow her eyes in suspicion.

Noticing the minute move of the watched males head towards her, she shook her head ever so slightly as well and slowly crept back behind the 'inconspicuous' wall, all the while, eyes still narrowed in what might be misconstrued as anger, but what was, still, really just intense suspicion.

Mai still wasn't sure if her hypothesis was correct—but it was dangerously close to it at the very least. Now she just had to be _sure_.

Naru paused in his work to look at where his assistant had last stood doing what seemed to be practically _stalking_ him. That pause only lasted a second though, as he resumed his shuffling through papers. There was always something weird going on with that girl, no point in pushing his work to a standstill because of it.

Truly, he would never understand women—or Mai for that matter.

* * *

Lin could only raise his eyebrow and pause in his regular typing at the sight of Mai trying to be sneaky around the office. The key word was _trying_.

It was odd to watch as she shifted from room to room (not that there were many rooms) and place to place in her conspicuous manner.

Really, what was that girl up to? She looked like she was going to attack idiotic genius.

_Snort._

An image popped into his head of Mai attacking Naru. If that was the case, maybe he should get a camera and a MySpace account.

* * *

A poor man, by the name of Takigawa was ambushed as he happily made his way into the SPR office.

"Mmmnnmpphhmmm—?"

The monk turned to look back at his kidnapper and in his shock to see an —eye narrowed— brown haired assistant.

"_Mai? What in the—" _He whispered to what seemed his deranged friend.

"_Shhh, Bou-san. I don't want you to give us away!"_

The blonde raised both eyebrows in skepticism and confusion.

Obviously he needed something a little _more_ than _that_ explanation.

Irritated at his unknown ignorance, Mai continued, _"He might hear us and become suspicious!"_

Well, that sure helped.

Takigawa shook his head as he tried to sort it all out with the limited facts that he had gathered in the few seconds.

A pair of eyes widened as he thought he comprehended what she was talking about.

_He might hear us and become _suspicious_??_

Did she think… with him? …As in together?? What the hell?

Fidgeting uncomfortably, he tried to speak, _"Uh, Mai-chan. I know that we're good friends and all—but don't you think this is going a little—_TO_—fast? Besides, I think I'm a little old for you at the moment—I mean, I'm always joking about this, but I didn't think—"_

Mai shook her head in confusion, _"_What_ are you _talking_ about, Bou-san?"_

Embarrassed he leaned back and replied, _"I—er—nothing. What were _you_ talking about?"_

Mai rolled her eyes in irritation and disbelieving at the monk.

"_I was talking about my experimentation on _Naru_—duh."_

He looked away. _"Uh—right. I was talking about the same thing… heh, heh."_

Mai looked up in another roll of the eyes as if asking God why he should give her such idiotic friends.

After a pause, he finally got the courage up to ask what the hell kind of experiment she was doing.

"What the hell kind of experiment are you doing, Mai?"

Mai ducked.

"_Shhhh!!"_

He gave the 'I'm sorry' smile as he ducked his head.

"_Sorry. So what is this experiment on Naru?"_

Mai sighed at having to explain it. The man probably wouldn't understand—but—

_Click-Click._

Both Mai and Takigawa turned their gazes to the front door, relieved that it was someone entering and not Naru coming into the main lounging room (even as much as Naru denied that it was _any_ place for _any_one to _lounge_).

Easily, they both made out form their little dark corner that it was Masako to have walked in. Before the blonde could even blink, Mai had kidnapped Masako in the same way as he had and was dragged to their little dark 'hidden' (not really hidden) corner of the room.

"Mai, I swear if this is some weird ploy—"

Both of the others responded before she could continue with a, _"Shhhhh!"_ with their pointer fingers on their lips to indicate what they were saying—as in shut the hell up.

Irritated, Masako crossed her arms indignantly as she glared at the two of them.

"I will not 'shh'! Maybe _you_ should explain why you have _forced _me into this cob-webbed _corner_ and why I shouldn't sue the _pants_ off of you!"

The couple rolled their eyes at her indignity of –oh excuse me— being in a _corner_.

"_We want you to be quiet because Mai has been performing some sort of experiment on Naru. Right, Mai-chan?"_ He turned to Mai.

She nodded with determination.

"_Yes."_

Exasperated and in a whisper this time replied, _"But _why_?"_

In the same tone, Mai replied, _"_Because_, I need to find out something that can only be accomplished by an experiment."_

It was Masako's turn to roll her eyes, although she leaned noticeably in.

"_And that would _be_?"_

_"Whether Naru's —"_

_Click, click._

The trio froze as someone walked into the 'non'-lounge.

A sigh of relief was breathed out and back in.

It was John, coming in from the entrance.

The priest smiled brightly as he started to wave and say hi—

A hand slapped over his mouth and dragged him in the dark recesses of the room.

"—"

And that's all poor John got out as their small party, with a loud whisper, said, _"Shhhh!!"_

"_Uh… Mai-san? Should I know what is going on? I don't believe I know this tradition."_

Takigawa snorted as Mai explained that this was, in no way, a tradition.

John nodded as he began his questioning with a pleasant and forgiving smile, _"Then what are we doing?"_

_"We are doing an experiment to find out about Naru."_

The priest looked surprised.

_"…And that would be?"_

Mai opened her mouth again while the small group watched her ententy.

A half a syllable got out of her mouth just as the door opened to reveal two familiar people.

"Where is that fake _monk_! I'm gonna KILL _him_, I will!! Grr, let me get my hands on him!"

"—I don't know Ayako about killing him. Maybe a congradulations though—I mean—that was a pretty accurate discription of you when he was trying to find you in the store. _"Can anyone tell me where an old woman with clown make up and long hair might be?!" _Ahahahaha, priceless."

Ayako growled at Yasuhara.

And then they were gone.

* * *

"_Ahh! _Again_, Mai? This is what—fourth time you kidnapped someone entering the lounge?! And you still haven't explained what the heck we're trying to figure out!"_

Mai glared at the young 'monk'.

"_Well, I _would_ if you people would stop _interrupting_ me! I swear, just as I'm trying to explain this someone always ends up intervening!"_

Ayako and Yasuhara bent their heads to listen in.

"_Are we missing something, guys?"_

Mai crossed her arms and rolled her eyes at having to explain it _again_.

_"I am doing and need to do an experiment on Naru. And I don't want him finding out and I think I'll need all of your guys' help. Understand?"_

Masako let out a sigh of irritation.

"Yes_, we've gotten that part—now will you tell us what the heck your trying to discover about Naru??"_

Mai huffed.

_"Well, now I'm not so sure I want to tell you, if you guys are going to be so ungrateful."_

Yes, it was childish—but then Mai was never known for being an adult _anyway_.

Takigawa clapped her shoulder, _"Awe, come _on_, Mai. Please? You've already gotten us here anyway _and_ you need our help, right?"_

Mai wavered and finally let out a breath as she nodded. She never really meant it anyway.

_"Well—you see I have this theory. And I believe it's very valid. No—I don't want any of you laughing at me because I'm being perfectly serious, you know!"_

Then Mai leaned forward conspiratorially.

_"Okay, okay. I'll tell you. I believe that Naru is actually—a vampire."_

Mai gave a triumphant grin.

The group gasped in confusion.

"_What?"_ The rest of the group said this all at once.

* * *

Mai pleasantly set down the last cup of tea for the group in the 'non'-lounge, as if she hadn't just said Naru was one of the damned.

Takigawa shook his head.

"I still don't understand, _Mai_. Why in the _world_ would you think that Naru was a _vampire_?? Of all things, too!"

Roll of eyes again.

"I know it _sounds_ a little out there, but come _on_,_ Bou-san_! Think about it!"

"I am thinking about it and I still have no idea how you could come to this conclusion! Of all things, Mai!!"

"No—no, I mean—_really_, think about it! Lets take what we know about vampires!"

The monk just rolled his eyes and sat back in disbelief and apprehension. He couldn't see this ending very well.

Resigned as he passed his hand over his eyes and answered, "Well, they're supposed to be adverse to sunlight, right?"

Mai's eyes _literally_ sparkled.

"Exactly. That man never goes out in the sunlight!! He's always in his stuffy office either typing away or writing, or doing whatever else work he does! The man is freaking nocturnal too! I swear it—"

The monk tried to cut in to stop early, the tirade that he was sure that would ensue. He wasn't successful.

"—I mean—that man is ALWAYS working—day or night! Holiday, or no holiday!! I'm—well I WAS starting to wonder if he worked when he slept—but now there's no need for THAT theory because the MAN hardly even SLEEP! And when he does--he doesn't CRAZY things--BECAUSE HE'S DEAD!! It explains everything. And—AND—"

And now she was on the point of hysterical.

"—Mai-san. I think you should calm—"

Mai easily ran over poor John in her tirade of anger.

"AND he's ALWAYS wearing BLACK!! WHAT KIND OF NORMAL PERSON HAS THAT MUCH BLACK IN HIS WARDROBE?! HUH?! PLUS! He is so freakin PERFECT! GAHH! I SWEAR IF I GET ONE MORE GRAMMER CORRECTION FROM HIM, I'LL DIE—"

Finally, Mai paused. She observed her finger high in the air in anger and accusation.

She flushed red.

"Uhh…" Mai sat down nervously as the group watched her sit down and then look nervously back and forth between her friends and her boss' private office.

Oh, God, I hope he didn't hear that…

Blinking owlishly, Mai folded her hands onto her lap and gathered herself.

With a grin, Yasuhara asked, "Anything else?"

A deeper red now.

"Well—okay, that was a bit over the top—but I do have some valid points! And—and—plus—"

Mai shifted as she tried to think of all her suspicions that she had concocted earlier.

"The man never drinks his tea with people around!" Mai finally blurted out.

The monk friend rolled his eyes as he crossed his arms.

"And THAT'S why you think he's a vampire?"

"Erm—no. It's just that—vampires are suppose to drink blood right? Well that would explain it."

Covering her face with her sleeve, Masako uttered with what everyone knew was a smile, "Or maybe he just hates your tea and tries to hide it for your simple nature."

Mai stood up, "What's that suppose to mean?!"

Takigawa, Ayako, and John had to hold Mai back from killing the medium.

Yasuhara just smiled pleasantly and watched from 'afar' (his seat right next to what could be an ensuing fight).

Finally Mai got herself under control enough to sit down and fidget in irritation and then sigh with defeat. She just never won with Masako.

Gritting through her teeth, though, Mai finally responded, "Even if he _does_ drink the tea, it still could be true—no where that I've read says that eating regular human food would actually kill someone like that—I mean—their UNdead! How do you compete with that?"

Mai sent out an obvious glare at Masako to prove her point about 'even if he does drink the tea' (as in he DOES drink the tea and he damn well likes it too, thank you very much).

The group shrugged.

"You know none of this really proves anything. It's all speculation and it is very _fine_ at that."

Mai growled at someone trying to contradict her awesome theory that she spent many bored hours working on (asleep).

"I _understand_ that. Which is _why_ we are doing this experiment! Don't you see? We might have our very own vampire—who is our boss! What would happen if he suddenly got hungry and ate us all!"

The monk (and a few other members of the group who shall remain nameless, COUGHAyakoCOUGHYasuharaCOUGHMasakoCOUGH) held back their laughter.

Mai's eyes narrowed as she caught a snort from her blonde friend (Takigawa).

"Oh—you go ahead and laugh now. Just you wait—you'll see! You'll all see and then I'LL be the one laughing and snorting as you all get gobbled up!"

Mai pouted.

"Awe, Mai-chan. We understand, we're just—reluctant to believe you, right?"

Mai sighed as she slumped forward. She was so sure! And it sounded so _good_ in her _head_!!

"—And it's not like the guy NEVER goes outside in the light. I just think your over-reacting."

Mai fidgeted again, "yes—but, whenever he DOES go outside, he turns red—so there!"

Takigawa shook his head while Yasuhara hid a smile.

"It's called a _sunburn_, Mai."

Mai sniffed as she turned away. She was right this time and she knew it! They were just being stubborn.

"Well, that's why we're here—to find out and _prove_ it. See?"

The group sighed.

"Alright. If that's what you want—we'll do it. No matter how _crazy_ it sounds."

Mai smiled triumphantly as she wheeled out a drawing board.

"Well, there are many ways to prove that he's a vampire—so we'll just have to try a couple, right?"

The group nodded.

Mai pointed to her kid-like drawings and started her plan.

"Well, I think we should start with…"

* * *

Naru came striding out of his office to get a few files.

"Mai—tea!"

As he turned the corner Naru got hit with some sort of powder.

Naru started coughing.

"_Cough, cough_—what in the—_cough, cough_—what is this—_cough, cough_—and why does it smell like garlic??"

Mai inched away behind the other side of the wall holding a very conspicuous bottle of garlic that she may or may not have thrown at Naru.

And she really thought that would do the trick!

Well… maybe not garlic, but surely something else'll prove it!

_"Alright John-san. Time for plan B."_ Mai said into her kid walky-talky.

* * *

John finished his hooking up the contraption and then made his way down the latter.

His walky-talky started sounding, _"This is Mai—hurry up John-san and Bou-san—he's coming!"_

John looked up at his partner in "crime".

"Are you sure about this Takigawa-san? I don't think…"

"Oh, it's fine. Don't worry about it! Besides—that narcissist is as tough as steel—it'd do good to nock him down a few notches even if this _doesn't_ work!"

John looked over at the walky-talky and scuttled out of the room, handing over something to the monk.

Takigawa grinned as he took the necklace and they hid behind the wall, waiting for the boss to exit the room.

_Click, Click._

A down pour of holy water from a bucket crashed onto Naru and his clean clothes.

The monk jumped out of nowhere and jumped in front of the sopping wet guy.

Holding out a cross, Takigawa yelled, "OUT DEMON! THE POWER CHRIST COMPELLS YOU!!"

"…"

Naru glared at the idiot.

"You're an idiot."

Takigawa gave a lopsided smile.

"Eh-heh…"

* * *

_"Alright, we're going to plan C, Ayako"_

_"Roger."_

The walky-talky clicked off as she put it down and started rummaging through the kitchen cabinets till finding her prize.

Quickly, she stationed herself in front of Naru's office that he had just recently walked in.

Ayako slid the compartment open in from the container of the ingredient.

She started pouring a semicircle around Naru's door.

A minute later she had to step back in surprise as the door opened to reveal a pretty miffed Naru. Before Ayako could stop her hand, her wrist flung the salt at guy in the face.

Ayako smiled as she turned on her heel and ran out of the room away from the angry Naru that was on the verge of exploding.

* * *

"Are you sure about all of this, Mai? I mean—all of these stunts that we've pulled seemed a little—below the bar than what they might've been—and every single one seems to have worked in only that of further pissing off Naru."

Mai glared and steamed as she shifted further inside her seat and seemed to pout.

"—And I don't think that it helps that you had a MONK try to exercise with a cross… and isn't Naru suppose to be a vampire? How does exercising…" Ayako spoke up at this.

Mai shifted her just general glare to the 'monk'.

The monk gave an 'oops I'm caught' smile.

"Well…I wasn't… exactly… suppose to say that bit about exercising the demon out of Naru-chan. Really… that was really just for fun—and I figured if it worked, then HEY! all the better!"

Takigawa rubbed the back of his head while laughing.

Ayako rolled her eyes.

John blinked blankly.

Masako covered up a smile with her sleeve.

Yasuhara laughed loudly.

Mai sighed as she rolled her eyes and sat back in her seat exhausted.

"You don't think we could stab him with a wooden stake, or shoot him with a silver bullet?"

They all stared at Ayako blinking.

Ayako smiled nervously and laughed loudly, "I'm just kidding! I swear—you guys can't take a joke…COUGHCOUGH…although…"

"Come on, Mai-san. I know you had your heart set on this… but none of our tests have worked… and I believe it might be best if maybe we…stopped…?" John said gently with a pleasant smile.

Stubborn as always, Mai started to open her mouth just as the door clicked open and revealed a stoic (more like an under control, pissed), straight-back, and striding Naru coming out of his office. (You could see the slight move of his eyes looking for any more traps)

"Mai!"

Mai stood up automatically and involuntarily. It'd become a habit by now—that man had such a commanding voice! Dang it.

"All of you are fired."

The entire group actually rolled their eyes. Naru maybe a narcissistic and commanding bastard, but there was no way that he would actually fire all of them over this… especially Mai.

Mai crossed her arms, sniffed, and looked up and away, without moving.

Naru breathed out an exhausted sigh (of defeat) and stared down at Mai.

"What have you been doing all day? –Besides getting on my nerves?"

Mai turned to her left and continued to look away from him, as stubborn as ever. But Shibuya Kazuya is just as stubborn.

"Mai, look at me." Naru had moved right in front of Mai and put his hands on her shoulders, now forcing her to look up.

Well, when he did it that way, how was she supposed to fight against that?

Mai looked up and automatically knew she had already lost. Dang it! Next time Naru… next time…

It was Mai's turn to sigh as she stared back shyly at Naru. How was she supposed to explain this? She undone her crossed arms.

"Well… err…"

The monk decided to take some pity on the poor brown haired girl and spoke up, "We were doing some experiments to see if you were a vampire or not."

It was only pure self-control that kept Naru from rolling his eyes.

"And why would you do that?"

The entire group looked pointedly at Mai.

Naru shifted his gaze back to the girl he still had his hands on her shoulders to keep her from ignoring him.

"And where would get the idea that I was—of all the stupidest things in the world—a vampire."

Mai flushed as she tried to turn her head away and look up. Didn't work. Naru moved his head in front of hers again. He didn't like to be ignored.

"Mai. Speak."

What was she—a dog! No, no, no, no, no—Mai's face turned from a flushed embarrassment, to flush of anger. She crossed her arms (uneasily I might add considering there wasn't much room to do it with Naru _right there_).

This time Naru _did_ roll his eyes. So predictable.

Softening his tone he repeated, "Mai. Now."

It still wasn't a question—but his tone caught her attention and turned her anger once again to embarrassment.

"Well—I—er—but—you see—"

Naru's eyes went hard as he said, "Say it already."

"Well—" Mai looked nervously around the room and tried to back up.

Her instincts were kicking in. Fight or flight. Well—she already tried to fight—and that obviously wasn't working—so flight it was.

But then that option wasn't working either as Naru continued to hold his grip and stare her down.

She shifted uncomfortably as she tried to escape, but to no avail.

Finally, she blurted out, "Well—because you kissed me!!"

She was now redder than the precariously placed tomato that was on the table next to her. The redness spread to her feet.

The SPR group's jaw dropped.

"Say what?" Takigawa jumped out of his seat along with Ayako and Yasuhara.

Even Lin opened his door and stepped halfway in and halfway outside his door to watch this.

John blinked. Masako coughed violently.

"And when did I do this, Mai."

Mai started to turn darker shades of her previous red.

"…When… you… were sleeping?"

Naru blinked.

"When I was sleeping? Mai…"

Mai got even redder.

"Well, not _sleeping_, sleeping—but sleep walking."

"_What_?"

"Well, you had fallen asleep while doing more work in your office and I was coming in to give you some tea… and then…"

Mai shifted uncomfortably under his hard stare.

"Well—I didn't think it meant anything—I swear! I figured it must have been an accident or something while sleepwalking! –But then… you kinda did it again right after the first time… and said my name… so… I…"

Mai shrunk, as she was now redder than what Mars must be.

She was so dead now! Naru would kill her—but it was his own fault for making her _say_ it.

Naru slid his eyes closed, already feeling a migraine coming on. Of all the things to do…

Decidedly, Naru opened his eyes again and continued with his interrogation. He'd deal with this —_other_— part later.

Naru sighed as he asked, "And this would make you think I was a vampire—how?"

I have decided that there is nothing else in the universe to compare Mai to that was or could be as red as she is at that very moment. The group continued their staring, as if they couldn't believe their eyes.

Naru stopped as he turned his glare at all the many eyes watching their small soap opera show.

Releasing her shoulders, he caught her arm and dragged her into his office, away from prying eyes. He was never a very public person.

* * *

The tapping of nails on wood was heard.

"So why in the world would you think that I was a vampire because of that—_incident_?"

Mai considered breaking down his door and running for her life.

She glanced up at Naru. Nah—she'd never make it.

Mai looked down again at her shoes, hoping the floor would swallow her up.

"Mai."

No more stalling is what that tone meant. She was getting better and better at reading his tones…

Mai sighed as she fidgeted again and finally said, "Um—it's just that—well—your—_too_ much, you know?"

Naru gave a look that said he obviously _didn't_ know.

This wasn't _fair_! It was Naru who did this and now she was the one getting all weird and embarrassed!! Life was so unfair sometimes…

"Well, it's just as I said, so there. Your just too good. (Mai continued her fidgeting). Your too handsome, too much of a narcissist, your too smart, too commanding, too much of a jerk, too good of a kisser—too much of EVERYTHING! And I just thought that… not to mention the way you just are… so I just came to the _conclusion_… after a long time of thinking… and stuff… I just thought that…"

Naru raised an eyebrow.

"That I was a vampire?"

Mai nodded.

"Right.

"Mai."

Mai looked up.

"Stop thinking. Leave the thinking to those who are actually smart. Your hypothesis doesn't even make sense."

Mai's embarrassed red, turned to an angry red once again.

"Hey—you still could be, you know!"

Naru had to sigh again. Anymore sighing and might actually lose a few brain cells.

"Look, I am not a vampire. All day you guys have thrown garlic, holy water, crosses, salt, and other random things that either have nothing to do with vampires or are too stupid sounding to actually make any sense when actually DID have something to do with vampires. And I might add that NONE of these things have worked. Now, Mai,"

Mai suddenly noticed how close to each other they were.

"I want you to stop all of this nonsense."

Intent stare.

Mai's anger crumbled as a shy feeling washed over her.

"Weh—umm—hey! This isn't fair! You—I—STOP that!"

Naru looked down at her blankly.

"I'm not doing anything." Except moving her in her personal little bubble space! –Exit the bubble, exit the bubble!!

Mai muttered an uncomfortable and stubborn, "Fine." as she backed up away from the narcissist.

Naru rolled his eyes and pressed a little pressure to his temple as he now tried to sort out the _other_ problem. Naru groaned as he thought of his brother watching this entire scene probably laughing his ass off.

_'Well—at the very least—you now know you're a good kisser, Noll!'_ Said a laughing voice in the back of Naru's head. Oh yes—gene _was_ watching _and_ getting his kicks. If his brother weren't already dead, he'd probably _kill_ him right about now. In fact…

Naru opened his eyes just to narrow them at air.

…In fact… his brother was probably the reason for his… odd behaviour.

_Gene,_ Naru said in his head angrily.

Still laughing, the voice replied, 'W_hat Noll? Don't like it? Come on—I know you liked it…'_

_What did you do, Gene._ Naru answered warningly.

_'Nothing—just a few suggestions. You know that I can't make you do anything that really don't want to do. Besides, I seem to remember that you were already having a dream about her before I ever came around to your mind.'_

Naru growled.

Ah—got to love sibling rivalry.

During his little chat, poor Mai had shrunk up in the corner of the door thinking all his anger was directed at her only.

Naru refocused his eyes at Mai and lost his murderous aura. Mai relaxed slightly, although he kept his eyes intent on Mai.

Suddenly a ridiculous thought occurred to Naru. He'd gotten to kiss her _twice_ and he didn't even remember it. Naru tried to shake the thought away, but it came back as an irk-y little pet peeve.

Mai continued to pretend to find the wall very interesting as Naru continued his stare.

"Look, Naru. It's okay—lets just forget about it. I mean—you were asleep and doesn't count, right?"

Mai started to picked paint off the wall self-consciously.

"And if it is really uncomfortable to you, I guess I could—you know—just go. I'd understand—I'm sure I could find another job." The paint pealing continued.

"No."

Mai looked up.

"First—you have to work off pay for all the times I've saved you."

Naru took a couple steps toward her.

"Second—you have to work off pay for all the times Lin has had to save you—and gotten hurt doing so."

A few more steps.

"Third—there is that paint that you're so innocently pealing off my wall."

Mai smiled nervously as she tried to open her mouth, but Naru motioned for her to stay quiet and let him continue. He was not a foot away from you.

"Fourth—do you know what I find even more annoying than you trying to kill me all day with trying to accuse me of being a vampire?"

Mai shook her head as she tried, and lost at shrinking and melding in with the door.

"I find it very annoying for you to try and quit after I kiss you twice without my knowledge."

Now a breath away.

"And I find it even more annoying that I don't remember kissing you."

Poor Mai looked about to pass out with her huge eyes and her very conspicuous position of trying to meld with the wall.

* * *

"Shh, guys! I can't here what they're saying with all you loud movements!"

"Well we WOULD you fake monk, if you'd stop pushing all of your limbs into us--your foot is carving a hole in my stomach!" Ayako said miffed. She was hot, sweaty and stuck in a small inclosed space with four other people. One more move and she might kill somebody...

"Calm down, Old Lady. Just move over and listen in--i think i hear something!" Yasuhara grinned at the comment.

Ayako ignored the tease and shifted as she was told and then leaned down closer to the bottom of the ventilation system in the ceiling to hear what was going on, not a two feet away from them.

"I'm not sure that we should be in here, Takigawa-san, and Yasuhara-san." John said red face from being in the cramped space and having to hold his breath to fit inside.

"Nonsense! It's fine... just wait--we might hear something good!"

Another woman's voice was heard. "I think I need a drink..."

"I didn't know you drank, Masako." Ayako commented.

"I don't."

Suddenly a small crack was heard coming from the ventilation system that they were in.

Takigawa turned to the rest of the group.

"Did anyone check to make sure that this ventilation system could take the weight of all of us?"

Silence.

* * *

Naru was a centimeter away from Mai now. Lips touch--and--

_Three—two—one—_

**CRASH!**

Mai jumped away from Naru five feet as five people came crashing down from the ceiling in his office.

Naru glared at the group that had obviously been intently listening in on their 'private' conversation in their ventilation system in the ceiling.

The group dusted themselves off as they clumsily stood up and straighten themselves out.

Takigawa grinned and gave two thumbs up.

"Go Naru-chan!"

Glare.

The rest of the group looked away and whistled as if it was the most normal thing to be standing in the middle of Naru's office with a huge hole in the ceiling.

Glare.

"You are paying for that."

And with that, Naru shoved the group out of his office, leaving only Mai to kiss to death.

* * *

"I wonder how long they'll be in there?" Takigawa wondered out loud as he sat back on the lazy boy chair.

Ayako took a sip of Pepsi.

"No idea."

Yasuhara popped a soda top and guzzled down anther can. After finishing that, he threw it on top of the fast growing pile of used cans.

Masako threw back another can of Coke as if it was a shot of whiskey and grabbed another can and started drinking more.

"We're going to need more soda with the way she's drinking it all." The monk pointed out as the group watched her shoot another five cans back and add it to the pile of empty cans.

Masako didn't even pause.

"Maybe we should go home—or out or something to give the two privacy Takigawa-san." John added.

With a grin he said, "If I could, I'd still be in the ceiling watching what the hell was going on in there—for all we know, Mai could be kicking Naru's ass rather than them making out! Man, that would be funny…"

Ayako rolled her eyes as she hit him upside the head. She decided not to mention that she'd most likely be doing the same thing if she could.

The group paused in their little chat as Lin exited his office room with a red face and started grabbing his things to go.

"Where're you going Lin-san? The days not over with—and your all red? What happened?" Yasuhara sat up with an inquisitive eye.

Lin turned redder.

"Mai is definitely not beating him up. I suggest all of you go to see a movie or something." And with that—Lin was gone.

The group looked at each other with questioningly looks.

Takigawa shrugged.

"I have no idea—"

Pause.

"Hey—guys?"

The group nodded.

"Isn't Lin's room next to Naru's?"

The group nodded.

The group turned their gaze on Naru's office.

"Oh, my God…" Ayako stood up followed by the rest of them.

"I think… we should go…"

Nod.

"Yeah… there's a showing of Iron Man at five…" Yasuhara offered up.

In a flury, the group grabbed their things and sprinted to the door.

All of them jumped out the door when they heard something softly crash onto the carpet in Naru's office.

* * *

So… was Mai's theory correct? Who knows.

But I can say this—whatever the case it sure worked for Mai and Naru who laughed as they left the office room completely un-rumpled and fine.

Quickly they got their things to go on an actual date. You didn't think they actually do _it_ after their second—no excuse me—third kiss, do you?

"I still can't believe you thought I was a vampire, Mai."

Mai laughed as she walked through the open door before Naru.

"Well, I can't believe you actually agreed to help avoid the group by making them think that we did _it_ in your office! The narcissist actually DOES have a sense of humor!"

Naru smirked as he shut the door behind Mai and started their walk to the restaurant.

It was weird, but an outside observer might have notice the small change of his eyes as he shut the door, letting them flash, for a milisecond, an odd colour of red and then back again.

But then--that was probably just the trick of the light, right?

Yeah... probably.

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_

_You. Won't. Believe. How long. This took me. Jeez! TT.TT_

_I swear, every single time I started working on this oneshot, someone always interrupted it. It's so annoying!_

_And even worse—I'm not even sure how good this oneshot is!_

_Ugh. I hope you liked it. I really do hope since it took me forevers. And I know, I know. I need to update my other story—I'm such a terrible author! But I shall hopefully update as soon as assessments (exams) end for my school in another week or two—I know, I know that's forevers, but ah well._

_And so you know--i've updated this oneshot, so it's changed some. _

_I HAVE NO IDEA WHICH I LIKE MORE!! The one where you kind of get a hint of the red eyes at the end or without that! Just vote or something. I wasn't going to do that... I mean... it's so cliche... but temptation got to me. Ah, well. Plus I added in that scene where you actually see the group in the ventilation system. I think this is a little better than before--sorry for the inconveniance._

_(grin) Guess what though? I'm starting another oneshot for ghost hunt. S'called "The Flavas". I can't wait to start and finish that one. I was laying up at night, sitting, and thinking about it—and I just can't wait!! lol, it's gonna be funny. I'm sorry—I just can't stop myself._

_**Disclaimer**__: I own nothing. Not this show. Not the characters—all I thought up, was the plot—which I have to go check with the rules to see if I even own THAT. I also don't own Iron Man (that I am desperate to see b/c I heard it is REALLY good). I also don't own any other miscellaneous things that I can't think of right now. Don't sue—thank you!_

_Hope you liked it._

_Please read and review._

_Thank you so much._

_Rock on and payce out_


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